When I began writing my first novel, The Best of All Possible Worlds, I didn’t know what to expect.
I had encouragement from my wife, sons, and a few close friends. One of those friends said over dinner one evening, “Steve, I think that you’ll write like you talk. If you write in the style in which you tell your stories I think it will be very interesting.” Funny, that unexpected comment coming from a bright, intellectual woman was the tipping point.
I had so enjoyed writing in high school and college that I had aspirations to become a writer. But the realization of that desire had to wait for another day as the stream of life rushed by and carried me along with it; marriage, children, family obligations, the necessity of a steady income—all that brought my mind into focus as to what was needed. Of course, I had happily fallen in love with my dear Kay. I was overjoyed and delighted to have two sons born—Michael first, and Jonathan second. I was more than eager to enter into business to prove I could support my wife and family. I was dedicated to being a husband, a father, and the bringer-home of the bacon.
Over a period of twenty-five years, from 1981 to 2006, we had started and ran three businesses. Sixty hour weeks were more common than not, especially in the beginning of each business. Not just the first few months, but also the first three to four years. There were enough obstacles to each endeavor that none should have succeeded. Some obstacles I unknowingly created, some were just karmic. But I was determined to make whatever success I could in a honest and ethical way, and I did succeed in that I had three creative businesses that reflected our values and supported us in a welcoming middle class way.
From a writer’s standpoint, my business years gave me opportunities to travel, meet thousands of people, and live a rich and varied day-to-day life. As a result I have lots of material to draw from as I let my imagination animate my stories and experiences. In the end, all those years were a blessing because it set the stage for the second half of my life.
Then in January of 2006 I woke up one morning and felt the weight lift. I lay in bed realizing the karma of those past two and a half decades was resolved. I had worked through it and it was time to sell our third business, our modest wholesale bakery, which we then did later that year. With that sale and a timely gift from my wife’s parents I could look up from my bakers table, take off my apron, and seek new horizons.
So I got back to creative writing after a 25-year hiatus. Here’s the experience that I had when I began writing my novel…I had the beginning, something of the middle, and the end of the story, sort of, but I didn’t have the whole story. That only came as I started to write and continued writing. I also noticed that when I started writing a part of my brain woke up, or turned on, and my consciousness shifted into what I called writing mode. Once that switched on, everything flowed and my writing was effortless. That doesn’t mean it was all good, just uninhibited. So my writing style wasn’t ‘let’s write 3-4 pages today and stop and repeat again tomorrow’. No, I wrote whole chapters in one sitting, could be 18 pages or 30 pages, but the whole chapter emerged.
In between chapters, which could be a week or two, I found I just thought very quietly about the story. I asked myself what would happen next and then let my awareness work on that. At some point I would get a ‘signal’, and I knew I was ready to sit and write again. And write I did, nonstop for 2-3 hours at a time before I would reach the end of the chapter, and then I would stop.
The process was thrilling. I was highly focused but not in a forced way, more in a witnessing way. Sometimes I felt like I was taking dictation. Sometimes the characters would get in a conversation and I just transcribed their words. Many times I was surprised at what was being said and what I was writing. I laughed out loud. I actually cried a couple of times as I typed. I think that the spontaneous welling up of deep emotions translated into my writing so that the readers could feel it too.
All of this being said, the first draft took me about 16 months to complete. It was well over 400 pages, approaching 500. It was as wonderful as it was raw and it needed much work. I read it all the way through. What I saw was that I became a better writer as I progressed through those 16 months. Not really surprising, but worth noting. I did some rewriting and revision.
But I knew I needed help to get this in shape. I needed an editor and found one with whom I worked for a year. Oh what a year that was! If I was elated during my writing process, I was summarily brought to a place of frustration, distress, and sometimes anger in working with my editor. Honestly, she did save the book despite the fact it was a torturous path for me. Writing and working with an editor is not for the faint of heart, or one deeply insecure about their self worth. But I survived it and learned a great deal. And I finally had a manuscript I could work with.
In the end I did three partial rewrites (the last one was big) and gave it to a copy editor. Some more revising and learning about the Oxford comma ensued (I had learned in a college writing class that ‘and’ took the place of the last comma when naming a list of things, but the editor insisted I still needed that last comma). In this way, writing can be tedious and involve hard work. Not hard work like being in the restaurant business or running an artisan wholesale bakery, but mind-numbing hard work just the same.
I read somewhere that writing a book is an act of pure creativity and publishing a book is an act of pure ego. Although that seems a little harsh, I can tell you after spending five and a half years on writing and rewriting The Best of All Possible Worlds one certainly desires readers. With that, the author enters into a whole different world of expectation, happiness, and disappointment. If you’re lucky and can manage expectations you end up on the positive side. Fortunately, I landed on that side, and thus I’m working on my next novel. It does come down to doing the work. Any excuses not to continue working your craft or form of creative expression needs to be firmly dealt with and then brushed aside. Just keep going. Keep getting better at what you do and enjoy the process.
This is my way of saying that if you aspire to be a writer, an artist, a dancer, a musician, a singer, a poet, a storyteller, a photographer, and this is truly what you want, then don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Do the work, manage your expectations, and enjoy the creative process. The process is the important piece, because the process changes your brain and your awareness. It opens you up. It gives life-affirming energy. It makes you feel young and alive. That’s the reward. The rest is just a bonus.